Even If The Skies Get Rough
by styna3323
Summary: Lucas&Peyton had Sawyer 5 years ago & were lucky to get pregnant again w/ twins, but tragedy strikes the family when the twins are born.This story is how making it through hard times gets easier when the people you love surround u in the toughest of times
1. Chapter 1

The crying startled me awake as I saw the red lights on the baby monitor just in the first two spots. Just go back to sleep, back to sleep, I thought as the third and fourth lights lit up. I scoot closer to my husband hoping that he will go and get her the bottle from the fridge, heat it up, and then proceed to feed her.

"I'll go," he whispers softly as I felt the cold against my body as he sheds the blankets and walks quietly out of the room. I rest my head back on the pillow and pull the covers over my body to keep me warm. These winter nights in Tree Hill were getting cold every day. I had overheard at the Karen's Café' that this winter was supposed to be the worst. I was shivering and grab the sweatshirt from the end of the bed as I put it over my head. I get up off the bed and go downstairs into the dining room where the heat thermometer was and turn it up to 73 degrees. Grabbing the fleece blanket from the couch I head back up the stairs. Turning into the purple and green room I place the blanket over my little girl sleeping in her princess bed. I kiss her forehead as she reaches up and touches my face.

"Is it already time to get up?" She asks sleepily.

"No baby go back to sleep. Are you keeping warm?" I say quietly and kiss her head as she nods that she is. I turn off her lamp and shut the door until only a crack is open. As I head down the hallway I stop once I reach the nursery and see Luke holding our precious daughter and rocking her back to sleep. I watch him as he places her in the crib and I look over at the empty one. The one we have yet to take out of the room, the one our baby boy was supposed to be in but isn't, the one twin who didn't make it. It has been about seven days since we have left the hospital and it's been five days since I have left the house. It's hard to overcome a baby dying, especially when you've carried him for 8 months. She was perfect. She was here and he wasn't' and that just isn't fair. A tear slid down my cheek as Lucas wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead.

"Don't cry baby," he says softly in my ear.

"I love you," I whisper back to him.

"You're freezing, let's go back to bed," he grabs my hand and walks with me to the bedroom. I crawl under the covers and lay my head on his chest as he continues to rub my arm up and down. I close my eyes and fall asleep to his heartbeat.

I wake up to the sound of the door opening and see Sawyer standing by the door.

"Come here," I smile and lift the covers up as she runs over and jumps into the bed with me. I wrap my arms around her and plant kisses all over her face.

"Mommy stop," she giggles as I stop and pull her closer to me.

"Daddy says breakfast is ready," she tells me.

"I thought I was supposed to make breakfast," I say to her. She turns and looks at me while saying, "Daddy said you needed sleep and that he didn't want the house to burn down."

"Did he now?" I say and she giggles as I start tickling her. She laughs nonstop until I pull her next to me again.

"Go downstairs before breakfast gets cold and I will be there in a minute," I tell her.

"Okay," she says hopping off the bed.

"Sawyer," I say as she turns around and her blonde curls fall all over her face "Is your sister with dad?"

"No she's still in the crib," she tells me and leaves the room.

"Sawyer," I yell for her.

"What mommy," she asks appearing back in the doorway.

"I love you."

"I love you too mommy," she laughs and I hear her run downstairs. I lie back down on the bed and close my eyes for a second before I get the energy to stand up and face the world again for another lonely day without my mom, Ellie, Keith, and our son Mason Keith Scott. I sit on the edge of the bed and stand up as I make my way down the hall to check on our other daughter, Mackenzie Mae, Kenzie for short. I lean over her crib and place my hand on her head. She just breathes in and out in a beautiful manner that I can't take my eyes off of her. I know that Lucas is waiting downstairs but I don't want to leave her like I had to leave Mason at the graveyard next to my mom. I leave the room and head downstairs where I hear laughter from the kitchen and smell an incredible smell of pancakes and bacon.

"Hi baby," I say picking up Sawyer from her chair and sit on it as I place her on my lap. "It smells great," I say to Lucas who smiles at me and gives me a wink.

"Try it," Sawyer says and places a piece of her pancake drenched in syrup in my mouth.

"It taste fantastic too," I say as well.

"Daddy made me a face in my pancake with the fruit and bacon," Sawyer says.

"Well you don't get another pancake until all the fruit is eaten up," Lucas says pointing the spatula at her.

"But daddy," she whines.

"No buts," I tell her as I get up from the chair and walk over to my husband.

"Did you sleep good?" He asks me as a grab a plate from the counter.

"Yeah," I tell him and give him a kiss. "Thanks for feeding her last night."

"I love you Peyton," he smiles and kisses me again.

"I love you too," I smile and quickly retract it.

"It's good to see that smile again," he quietly says and places food on my plate and makes a smile with the bacon.

"Thank you husband," I say and take a seat next to my daughter. Lucas joins us after he shuts off the stove and we continue to eat as Sawyer goes on and on about her day with Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan yesterday.

"Well I am glad you have fun sweetheart," Lucas says to her.

"What are we doing today?" she asks as she drops a piece of fruit on the floor but quickly picks it up and throws it away.

"I don't know baby what do you want to do?"

"We could go to ice-skating or to a movie," she tells us.

"How about you choose and your dad can do something with you," I say to her as Lucas looks at me.

"What about you mommy?" she pouts.

"I have to stay with Mackenzie sweetheart. It's too cold for her to ice skate and she can't sit in a movie because she may cry," I tell her.

"But I want you to come," she says again.

"How about we go ice-skating and rent movies? That way we can do both and mom can do at least one with us?" Luke gives another option to her and a smile lights up on her face.

"That would be the best," she says as I hear the baby cry from upstairs.

"I'll go," I stand up and make my way up the stairs. I get into her room and pick her up in my arms and she automatically stops. I turn on the music player in her room as it fills the room with soft music and I sit in the rocking chair and pull down my shirt so I can feed her. As I am rocking on the chair I just stare at yet another beautiful child Lucas and I made. She was precious; she had my green eyes and blonde hair along with Lucas's calm and quiet manner. Sawyer on the other hand had unruly curly hair, blue eyes and my stubborn personality. Sawyer loved to draw and had already hung up many pictures in her sister's room that she had drawn before we had come home. I stand up to go to the changing table and put a pink and white onesie on her but change her diaper as well. As I go into my bedroom I see Lucas in the closet changing his clothes.

"Can you hold her for a second? I need to change," I ask him as he gladly takes her away from me and I put black yoga pants on and one of the Raven's jersey's on.

"You going to go skating?" I ask him.

"Yeah. Some of the basketball players are going to go," he tells me and I get Kenzie back.

"I see," I say to him and lay on the bed with Kenzie who I lay down on the bed between my legs. Lucas had gotten close with his players through the first two years of being the head coach of the boy's basketball team and would also help the girls as well. Nathan was head coach of the girls team and sometimes the boys would switch places and help the other out which was nice.

"Daddy is this okay to wear?" Sawyer asks in a jean skirt with leggings and a Keith Scott Body Shop sweatshirt.

"Are you going to the indoor rink?" I ask Lucas.

"Yeah," he says and kisses Mackenzie.

"Then that's fine Sawyer. Grab your hat and your mittens from your backpack." I tell her and she runs out of the bedroom.

"We'll be back in a few hours," he tells me and kisses my lips. "You going to be okay?"

"Yeah we can hold down the fort," I smile at him as he leaves the room and I kiss Kenzie's belly.

"Just me and you kid," I say holding her hands. I hear the doorbell and grab Kenzie as we walk downstairs and open the front door.

"Hey P. Sawyer," My best friend Brooke says and opens the screen door. "And how is my god daughter?" I hand Kenzie to her as she comes in the house and follows me to the kitchen.

"How are you?" I ask her and we hug each other trying not to squish the baby.

"I'm good how are you?" She asks as she sits on the chair by the kitchen table.

"I'm good," I lie and grab two bottles of water from the fridge.

"Peyton," she says to me knowing that she knows I'm not okay.

"I'm fine Brooke really," I say holding back the tears as she leaves the room and comes back without Kenzie.

"Okay I know you're not fine. Peyton I know it's hard and I'm here for you and Lucas is here for you, we're all here for you. Yes we have never lost a child but it's going to be okay," she says quietly me to know.

"I just had all these things I was hoping we would be. You know? Like we would have twins and they would be fighting because they would probably hate each other when they got older, but I wanted that Brooke. I wanted that so bad," I says as my tears run down my face. She pulls me into a hug and I hold onto her. "I wanted a boy for Lucas and when I see Kenzie I always am reminded that Mason isn't going to be here and what am I supposed to tell Kenzie when she gets older that her twin brother died. My son died Brooke and he is never coming back," I sya barely breathing.

"Peyton, sweetie it will all work out in the end, okay? You're going to be okay and you will tell Kenzie that her brother didn't make it because of complications that no one could have predicted. She will understand," Brooke tells me.

"How can she understand when I haven't completely accepted the fact that he is gone, I still don't understand Brooke?"  
>"It's still early Peyton, none of us have accepted it," she says to me. "We don't understand what the world has in store, but I know that it gets better and everything happens for a reason."<p>

"What is the reasoning behind this?" I ask her as I walk to the living room and sit on the couch. She sits down beside me and puts her hand on my leg. "I did everything the doctors asked Brooke. They told me to stay in bed, I did. They said no strenuous activity, I never did. I ate healthy I didn't smoke or drink. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck Brooke, how do you prevent that?" I ask her softly.

You can't. Peyton this is not your fault, things like this happen."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?" I question her.

"Because you're a mother. You want what is best for your children. You couldn't prevent this Peyton and I know that you're hurt. But you have two beautiful children who need you, a husband who needs you, we all need you Peyton. I'm here for you, but you can't do this all alone."

"I know Brooke, I know," I shake my head in agreement. "How do I find the strength to move on from this?"

"Talk to me or Lucas, even Haley or Nathan and if none of us, go see someone. We need back P. Sawyer," she tells me and squeezes my hand.

"Scott. P. Sawyer Scott," I tell her and we both laugh. I give her a hug and wipe the tears off of my face. Brooke and I had lunch before she had to go to work at the Café with Haley and it felt good to talk to someone about how I was feeling. As I hopped in the shower I brought the baby monitor with me so I could hear if Kenzie woke up. Thankfully she didn't cry until I had finished getting dressed and drying my hair. As I was feeding her I hear the front door open and see Sawyer appear in the nursery room.

"Can I hold her momma?" Sawyer asks rubbing her hand gently on her sister's head.

"I'm going to finish feeding her and when I am done I will bring her downstairs okay?" I tell Sawyer.

"Okay. Daddy and I got some movies," she says to me.

"I guess we will have to watch them tonight then? How was skating?"

"It was so much fun, I wish you could have come. Me and daddy and the boys and the girls were all there. The boys would pull me as I held onto their shirts. I didn't even fall mom," she tells me as she takes a seat in front of me.

"That's great sweetie. Was Corey and Cameron there?"

"Yeah," she nods and rocks back and forth. "Corey picked me up all the time and then his friend Julie or Julia or Jules was holding hands with him, it was funny momma," she says and starts laughing. Lucas appears in the doorway and I hand him Kenzie as we walk downstairs.

"If you sit on the couch you can hold her," Lucas says as Sawyer runs and jumps on the couch. Lucas gently hands her her sister and sits next to her while she holds her. I walk out onto the porch and look out at the back yard. I see a few kids playing basketball in the ally and wonder if our son would have played basketball like his dad. Lucas appears on the porch and puts his arms around me.

"Where are the girls," I ask turning around to face him.

"Kenzie's in the rocker and Sawyer is playing with her on the floor," he tells me. I bring my hands up to his face and kiss him softly on the lips. "You okay?" He pushes the hair out of my face as a tear slides down my face.

"I'm sorry. I'm just sad Luke, I don't want to be but I am and I am trying so hard to be okay," I tell him.

"It takes time babe but I am here for you," he assures me.

"I know and I want to be here for you Luke. I'm not the only one hurting," I say and wrap my arms around his body as I place my head on his chest.

"I know baby. It's hard on both of us but we'll get through it together we always do," he tells me.

"Mommy are we going to watch the movie?" Sawyer screams from the living room.

"I'm coming," I say as I kiss my husband and walk into the living room. I pick Sawyer up off the ground and sit her in my lap and kiss her all over her face. "What movie did you get?"

"Tangled," she says through laughter.

"Okay go put it in," I say as she jumps off my lap and opens the glass TV case to put it in. Once it's in Sawyer comes back on my lap and snuggles into me. It's going to be okay I tell myself and smooth my daughter's unruly curls down and look at my youngest. I see Lucas out of the corner of my eye and he leans against the door coming into the living room. He winks at me as I smile and kiss him in the air. He smiles and grabs Kenzie out of her seat and joins us on the couch as I lean against him. Everything is going to be alright I tell myself and enjoy the movie with my family.

**Let me know what you guys think. I don't know if I should continue this or not and your reviews will help!**

**Thanks! I hope you enjoyed. **


	2. Chapter 2

"Sawyer sweetheart you need to get up for school," I say rubbing her back and turn on the light. I normally just pull the blinds up to bring in the beautiful North Carolina sunlight, but being winter it is still dark out as all of us rise for the day. She rolls over and I brush the curls away from her face/ "How'd you sleep?" I ask going into her closet and grabbing jeans and a shirt.

"Good," she says tiredly. "I don't want to wear that one," she points at the shirt I picked out.

"Why? I just bought this for you Sawyer."

"I know but I don't want to wear it today," she says coming over to me. "I want to wear that," she points to the Raven's basketball jersey the team had given her last year with her dad's number 3 and last name on the back.

"Okay," I grab the jersey along with a black long sleeve shirt and put it on her bed with her pants. "Change, brush your teeth, and meet me downstairs for breakfast and so I can do your hair," I tell her as I leave the room and make my way downstairs into the kitchen. I put on a pot of coffee and start getting Sawyer's breakfast ready and packing her lunch for school. Lucas comes into the kitchen in charcoal pants and a light blue top as he is trying to tie his tie. I grab a mug from the cupboard and pour him a cup of coffee.

"Thank you," he smiles and kisses me on the lips. Not only was Lucas head coach but he was also the junior and senior English teacher while Haley did freshman and sophomore classes. "Do you need a lunch?"

"No. I think Haley and I will get something quick on our break at school. Listen we need to get back to CA about sending Sawyer there. Any thoughts?"

"What do you think?" I ask leaning against the counter as I spread peanut butter on bread for Sawyer.

"I think we should," he tells me.

"Can we afford it?" I ask him.

"It's going to be tight but RBR is taking off and I plan on finishing my book soon," he tells me.

"I just feel that she is doing so good at Tree Hill Elementary that I don't want to change that," I tell him. He rubs his eyes with frustration because we got an extension on our answer to the school because of everything that has happened and we have until today at 2 to let them know our decision.

"It is a great school Peyton," he reminds me.

"I know that. There has just been a lot of things going on and I feel that we are putting another change in her schedule," I say to him. "Whatever you choose I agree with so you make the decision, I trust you."

"What is for breakfast?" Sawyer ask coming in.

"Did you brush your teeth?" I ask as her Eggo's pop out of the toaster.

"Yep," she says and climbs up on the kitchen stool as Haley walks in with Jaime.

"Hey Hales," Lucas says and gives her a hug as Jaime sits on the stool next to Sawyer.

"Hey Luke. Peyton I forgot Jaime's lunch on the counter," she says and gives me a hug.

"I'm on it," I tell her and continue to prepare lunches as Lucas puts in more Eggo's for Haley and Jaime as well as himself.

"How is Lyd's?" I ask Haley.

"Good, finally getting used to sleeping through the night," she laughs and grabs a glass for orange juice. "Sophie?"

"Good. Only wakes up occasionally." I smile.

"And how are you?" she asks sympathetically.

"I'm doing better," I tell her honestly.

"Well if you're bored today Nathan is alone at the house with Lydia if you want to visit him?" Haley mentions.

"Or check up on him," Lucas laughs as Haley hits him on the arm.

"That is not what I meant," she laughs and so do we all knowing that that was the reason for wanting me to go over there.

"Jaime and Sawyer here are your lunches," I say and give Sawyer hers as she hands me her plate.

"Go put that in your backpack," I tell her and she groans and runs to her room making loud steps going up and I hear Sophie start crying. I shake my head and groan as Haley smiles and chuckles.

"I don't not miss those days," she says as I grab a bottle from the fridge. "Are you not feeding?"

"No there's like literally nothing I have like two bottles left and I have to go to the doctor's today to see what to go on and everything," I tell her.

"You never said you had an appointment," Lucas curiously asks.

"I made one the other day while you were gone," I exit the kitchen and go to the nursery.

"I didn't mean to wake her," Sawyer says dragging her backpack on the stairs.

"I know, but do you remember what I told you before?"

"We have to be quiet so Sophie can sleep."

"Yes. But have a good day at school and I will pick you up afterwards," I tell her and kiss her forehead. "Love you, be good."

"I will," she says and jumps to the bottom of the stairs. "Sorry." She turns and runs into the kitchen. I shake my head and head to the nursery where Sophie has calmed a little down and once the bottle goes in her mouth she is quiet again.

"Okay, so no longer breast feeding?" Doctor Smith asked me.

"No, I pumped pretty much the last of milk that I could," I laughed.

"Okay. Try to keep pumping and I am going to recommend this formula," he said handing me the name of the brand for Sophie, "try to mix breast milk and the formula up once in a while when you get milk. Do formula one day and then breast the next. She's doing good on the bottle?"

"Yeah. I mean she was fed the bottle in the hospital so she's used to it."

"Well she looks good, you look good. How are you doing?" the doctor asks me.

"I'm okay, it's hard but we're getting through."

"Just keeping pushing through the hard, but you have so much to look forward to with Sophia and you have Sawyer," he says to me.

I smile nodding my head and reply, "I agree." I pick up Sophia and hold her in my arms. I grab the formula he recommended and head to Nathan's house. Knocking on the door, a second later I am greeted by Nathan holding Lydia. He gives me a hug as I set the car seat on the floor.

"How are you," he asks me.

"I'm okay. I was actually wondering if you wanted to come with Sophia and I to the store?"

"We were actually just headed there, but Lydia wouldn't put on her shoes," Nathan says as I grab her from his arms.

"I don't know where," she shrugs as I set her down. Lydia just turned three a month ago and her celebration meant cake, which consisted of sugar, which made Sawyer bounce off the walls. I decided then and there to get her a sugar less cake for her next birthday.

"Well why don't you go in your room and get another pair," I suggest and she runs to her room. "Practice today?"

"Yeah we have it at four so I have plenty of time to go crazy with Lydia," Nathan laughs.

"You're doing fine," I tell him as Lydia comes out with her shoes on.

"Well look at that," Nathan says. "We can take my car." I grab Sophie's car seat as we head into the garage and pick the girls into the back.

"How's Luke?" Nathan asks me.

"You would know more then me. He's the one who is taking care of me. I've been selfish so I don't know you tell me," I say buckling my seatbelt in.

"I don't know Sawyer. He's down and get frustrated with the boys and the girls, but I had him go cool off after he yelled pretty hard at the kids yesterday. The kids know what is going on, so they understand but he needs you," he tells me.

"I didn't know," I say placing my hand on my head.

"He knows you're going through a hard time, probably worse then him, but he lost someone too Sawyer, we all did," he says parking in a parking spot.

"You always know what to say," I say.

"It's what I am here for. Now let's go shopping in the middle of the day like old women and mom's," he laughs.

"And hot stay at home dads on occasion," I wink getting out of the car as he continues to laugh. We both got carts and sat our children in them as we walked up and down the aisles of the store.

"Has Luke talked to you at all about Copper Academy?" I ask him.

"Yeah. He wanted me to go check it out for Jamie and Lydia, but I don't know if I want to send them there. It's a great school so I have heard but Jaime loves Tree Hill and I want him to go there," he tells me as I grab some apples and oranges.

"I know. Luke and I talked about it and I just feel like I want my daughter to go somewhere where she will be recognized and not judge and I know that everywhere does that, but I just feel that if we put Sawyer there we are setting her up to fail because the teachers are going to expect so much from her."

"Ok one Sawyer is so smart and would never fail and you two know her best and if you think CA is best for her then send her and if not don't," he says to me.

"I had Lucas make the decision. I told him that whatever he thinks is best for Sawyer to do it and I will support him no matter what," I grab the box of cereal from the shelf and throw it in the cart.

"You should have made the decision together," he grabs the same cereal as me.

"I didn't want to fight," I say and push the cart to the next aisle.

"Move it boys, the girls run faster then you," Lucas yells at the team as I hide behind the side of the bleachers. The boys are running on the court and look exhausted as Luke blows the whistle one last time. "Okay everyone gather up. We play Battle Creek tomorrow and if we lose we lose our first place spot, do any of you want that."

"No coach," they say out of breath in unison.

"Get a good night's rest, no going out tonight, I want you all in bed and here tomorrow morning. Do you understand?" Luke says to them.

"Yes sir," they say in unison again.

"Hit the showers," he says as the boys huddle and say raven's on the count of three. As the boys leave the gym I see Lucas sitting on the bleachers and the lights go dim. I walk over to him and sit next to him putting my arm through his.

"What are you doing here?" he kisses the side of my head.

"I'm sorry," I tell him.

"For what?" he ask turning me to face him.

"I haven't been a good wife to you after everything that has happened. Nathan told me you went off at the team yesterday," I say quietly.

"I was fed up with them," he laughs.

"Luke it isn't funny. You weren't fed up with them, you were fed up with me and the situation," I say to him. He places his head in his hands and I rub his back.

"You know I thought it would be easier once we said goodbye, but it isn't," he tells me. "I imagined Mason playing in this same gym as me. Bouncing the basketball up and down the court. Us playing catch in the backyard or just doing guy things."

"I know," I whisper. "We'll get a boy Luke." We hug each other and i place a kiss on his lips.

"I just wanted a boy Peyton, I wanted it so bad," he told me.

"Baby we'll try again okay?" I said as Sophia started fussing in her car seat. Luke grabbed her and placed her in his arms.

"Haley pick up Sawyer?" Luke asks me.

"Yeah. We're doing dinner at their house tonight," I tell him as I play with Sophie's hand.

"Okay," he responds. I stand up and grab the basketball that was on the ground and start dribbling it.

"What are you doing?" he laughs putting Sophie back in her car seat and setting it down on the gym floor. Lucas comes over to me as I place the basketball on my hip, "Thinking about coming the new girls basketball JV coach." He chuckles at the thought and I smile at him.

"Don't think that is going to be happening any time soon. You'd probably be better as the cheerleading coach," he says taking the basketball from me.

"And why would that be," I seductively say.

"Those chickeny legs of yours and the way you can wear that uniform," he says back and I take the basketball back from him.

"Well I don't know if I still look like that after having kids," I say and he laughs.

"Oh I think you still can pull that off," he says and pulls me into his body.

"I love you, you know that?" I whisper. His hand slides up my face as I tilt my head into it and relax for a second.

"You have been so strong through all of this and I love you too," he whispers and our lips gently meet.

"What time are you going to be at Haley's?" I ask him.

"I need to finish up some things here really quick so in about an hour or so," he tells me.

"Okay. Do you remember when you picked Sawyer up last time, did you take her bathing suit with her or leave it there?"

"I left it, Haley said she would wash it so you don't have to go home and get one," he says knowing why I asked.

"Perfect," I kissed him one last time before I grabbed Sophie and left the gym and headed to the Scott house. When I got there I placed Sophie in the extra crib they had kept after having Lydia and I went out on the porch where Haley and Brooke where with the three kids.

"Hi momma," Sawyer waves from the pool where Jaime was sitting with her on an inner tube.

"Hi baby," I smile and sit next the Brooke and Haley on the table with the umbrella blocking us from the North Carolina heat.

"Where are the boys?" I asked Brooke.

"Jude ad Davis went with dad to work really quick, they wanted to play with the new equipment," Brooke tells me.

"You have insurance?" I ask as we laugh.

"Yeah he got it this time."

"Thanks for taking Sawyer," I tell Haley.

"Not a problem, she was fantastic," Haley brushes off my thank you and hands me a drink. "How's Luke?"

"He's okay. I stopped by his practice and talked to him," I tell them. "Everything is going to be okay." I smile as Brooke takes my hand and gives it a squeeze.

"Aunt Brooke, Aunt Haley, and mom look," Sawyer says jumping on the diving board and does a flip.

"Oh my god," I say clutching my heart as she pops up with a smile.

"Jaime taught me that," she screams at us. I look at Haley as she puts her hands up in defense. "I didn't teach her."

Brooke stays out with the kids when Julian arrives with the twins as Haley and I prepare dinner for everyone. I was cutting up the fruit when Haley asks, "Thanks for shopping with Nathan today."

"It was fun and he was great with Lydia," I tell her.

"As always. Did he mention the fight with Luke and his team?"

"Yeah, hence why I asked you to watch Sawyer. We talked and it seems like we're moving forward from everything. It's hard but we're doing it. We have two great children who need us and we can't just stop because we lost one. They needs us and we need each other."

"Well I'm happy for you even though everything has happened, you two deserve the best," she smiles at me and I wipe the tear from my eye as I hear my husband and my brother in law come in the front door laughing.


	3. Chapter 3

I watched from the window as Julian was playing and watching the kids in the pool.

"Hey," Brooke said bumping into me. I smile at her and lay my head on her shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Julian is so great with them," I acknowledge.

"He is. He loves those two and they love him back. They always want to go to work with him and it's so hard for him to say no." I laugh as he threw the second born twin in the deep end of the pool. "I don't think Lucas is doing good. He says he is but I know when he is lying. I didn't want to say something and keep pushing him because it wasn't the time or place."

"I can have Julian talk to him." Brooke said as Sawyer now went flying in the air. I didn't even notice Brooke had Sophie in her arms as I brush her hair down that was standing up.

"That would be great. I just don't know what to do or what to tell him. He wanted a boy so bad Brooke and I just couldn't give it to him. He sees Julian with the boys and I just see that way he looks at them like he is disappointed that he couldn't have that."

"You can try again," she whispers.

"I know and I told him that but I know that he is still upset and confused and I just don't really know what to do or how to help."

"He'll get through it. I will go talk to Julian," she said handing me Sophia and heads to the pool. She squats down and Julian kisses her before she starts talking to him. I felt arms wrap around me and lean my head against his shoulder. He kisses the side of my head and I turn to face him. His arms slip under mine to grab Sophie as he walks back the way he came. Brooke comes back in the house and gives me a hug as she says, "Him and Nathan are going to the bobcats game tonight, they got Luke a ticket as well so he said he will try to talk to him there."

"Thank you," I whisper and wipe a tear away.

"Sawyer please put your pajama's on," I close my eyes and say from the bed as I heard her run past the bedroom.

"I'm not tired," she yells and I press my hand against my temple while Sophie stirs quietly in my arms. I place Sophie in the bassinet next to the bed as I walk out of the room to find Sawyer jumping on the couch.

"I'm not going to ask again, go," I say as she stops jumping.

"I want daddy to tuck me in," she coyly says.

"He is not here so your stuck with me let's go," I reply and point in the direction of the bedroom.

"No," she smirks.

"Sawyer Brooke Scott now," I say through gritted teeth. Her smirk goes away as she jumps off the couch and runs to her room. I follow her but she slams the door and I hear Sophie cry in the next room. I almost slam my hand against the door but I breathe in as I go get Sophie and head back to Sawyer's room. As I enter I see her crawled up in her bed with the TV on. I go to the dresser where her TV is and shut it off as she screams, "mom."

"No. There is absolutely no TV for you tonight after the way you have behaved."

"That's not fair," she cries out.

"I will see you in the morning," I say trying to bend down and kiss her but she isn't having it and hides under the covers. I continue to hear her cry as I walk back into the bedroom. Looking at the clock I wonder where Luke was. The game was over about an hour ago and it only took about 20 minutes to get back to the house. I figure that the boys might have gone to go get something to eat or just hang out somewhere and I didn't want to interrupt them. I lay Sophia down in the bassinet once I finally got her back asleep and I turn on the news for a little while. I woke up to a commercial on the TV about an two hours later and still am laying by myself. I grab my cell phone off the dresser but see no missed calls. I check Sophie who is sound asleep and check on Sawyer who is tangled in her blankets. I smile as I turn off the light and kiss her forehead as I hear the phone ring. I quickly go to answer it so it doesn't wake the baby up.

"Hello?" I say tiredly.

"Peyton it's Josh," one of the bartender's at Tric says.

"Josh hey what's going on?"

"It's Luke, he is here I think you need to come get him," he says quietly.

"Is he with anyone?"

"No he came in alone about 3 and a half hours ago, I just got here about 20 minutes ago. Camille the new girl called me and said some man was asleep at the counter, I didn't know who else to call."

"No thank you for calling Josh, I will be there in like twenty minutes," I said hanging up the phone. I pushed number 2 on my cell as I heard the raspy quiet voice of my best friend.

"P. Sawyer it is 2 in the morning," she says after the third ring.

"Hey something's wrong with Luke, he is at Tric and I need to go get him. Can I come and drop the girls off at your house, I don't want them seeing him," I asked her.

"Oh my God yeah, I will wait up for you, you okay?"

"I don't know I will be there shortly," I tell her as I put Sophie in the car seat. I grab Sawyer from her bed and place her in the car. Buckling her in was a challenge but once I got her in I place blankets over her and grab Sophie from the kitchen. When I pull up to Brooke's house herself and Julian come towards the car as Brooke grabs Sophie and Julian takes Sawyer inside the house.

"Call me tomorrow okay?" Brooke says and hugs me.

"I will thank you," I say tiredly. When I get to the parking lot of Tric I see Josh standing at the top of the stairs talking to someone. The two guys shake hands as he leaves and gets into his car. Josh lights up a cigarette as I get out of the car and start walking up the staircase.

"Hey I'm sorry," he tells me. "I would have sent him in a cab or driven him myself but I need to talk to you anyways."

"Am I going to need a drink for this?" I say and take a seat on the top of the stairs. He sits down next to me and flicks his cigarette down the staircase.

"I guess Luke keeps coming in here when Camille is working. She says he doesn't hit on her or anything. She told me she thought he was a regular. I'm guessing he only comes in because he knows that she doesn't know whom he is. I'm sorry Peyton," he says.

"It's not your fault," I smile trying to hold back the tears. "How many days does she work?"

"4. All night shifts from 10 to 2. She says that he comes around 12:30 sometimes as late as 1," he tells me.

"Okay, where is he?"

"Still at the bar," he tells me and we head inside. I see the blonde man that I love with his head on his arm resting against the bar table. I pull his hand around me as Josh grabs his other and we head down the staircase and into the car. He doesn't say anything until the door closes and I start driving home.

"Thanks baby," he slurs and I ignore him. "Are you mad," he drops his head and shoots it right back.

"I don't want to talk right now Luke," I say to him.

"Great, you're mad," he let's his head hit the window and I shake my head in annoyance and disappointment. I push the button to open the garage as I drive the car in and shut it behind me.

"You're either staying in the car tonight or going in the house," I said getting out of the car and going over to his side.

"Come on Lucas I'm tired," I open the door and grab his hand, pulling him to stand up.

"You know I love you," he laughs a little and stumbles up the stairs. We make our way to the bedroom as I let him fall on to the bed and take off his shoes. He starts to snore when his head hits the pillow and I crawl next to him on the bed. When I wake up in the morning I try quietly to get up and get out of bed. I do and walk down the stairs and out to the porch to grab the paper that was placed there early this morning. I watch as the neighborhood kids ride their bikes out in the streets. I smile as two boys race against each other and I head back into the house. I open the kitchen windows and press the button for the coffee machine. I sit at the counter and peel an orange while reading the Tree Hill newspaper. I hear footsteps upstairs and then hear them go to the bathroom as I hear the medicine cabinet open. He has to have a headache I think as I hear the footsteps come down the stairs and see my husband appear in the kitchen doorway. He reaches in the fridge and pulls out a Gatorade from the back.

"You going to talk to me?" he asks after swallowing the pills.

"You still drunk?" I ask giving him a disappointed face. He shakes his head in frustration and leaves the kitchen.

"Lucas," I say out loud following behind him.

"What?" he says turning around.

"What is going on with you?" I ask him.

"So what I went and got a few drinks last night," he argues.

"And what about the other nights Lucas. Drinking is not the answer here," I try telling him.

"Don't you think I know that by now. I still wake up in the morning and he is not here. I know drinking does not solve anything but it makes it better for at least a little while," he tells me.

"So what you'll just leave every night and just go get drunk, come home, and then do it all over again," I ask him.

"If it helps then yes," he answers through gritted teeth.

"We can deal with this differently Luke. Please let me help you," I move towards him but he backs away.

"I don't need your help."

"You need someone's help Luke. This isn't healthy. How do I know that one night you want come home completely drunk or you might not even come home and kill yourself for drinking and driving?"

"Do you really think I am that stupid?"

"No, but you wanted to drive home last night," I tell him quietly. "I know it's been hard and I know I haven't been there for you like I should have and I am truly sorry but you need to understand that alcohol isn't going to bring him back." I now was crying as he stood there running his hand through his hair. I saw tears running down his cheeks as he wiped them away.

"I just see everyone with their boys and hate them. Look at Jude and Davis, why can't I have that, why? I just can't smile anymore," he says and I run over to him. We wrap around each other and I cry, "No one is asking you too. It's okay to be jealous of Julian and of Nathan but we need to get through this together. I promise I will be better at talking to you, you've been so great with me. Luke I love you and I don't want to lose you too.

"You won't I promise, I'm going to stop okay and we're going to be okay, it's going to be okay and I'm sorry." He kisses the side of my head and wipes away the tears from my face.

"It's okay to show your emotions too Luke, you need to. It's not healthy to keep it in and I don't want you to keep it in," I say grabbing his face as more tears fall.

"I know. I love you," he whispers and presses his lips to mine. "Where are the girls?"

"I'm going to go get the girls from Brooke's house. Maybe we can just hang out at the house today."

"I'd like that." He smiles and kisses me one more time. I grab the keys and bring the girl's back to the house. Sawyer runs to go get her swimsuit on since I said she could play in the pool later on. I walk up the stairs to the nursery and see it all redecorated with only one crib in the room. I place Sophia in her crib and go into the bedroom.

"I didn't think we needed it in there anymore," Lucas says walking in.

"Okay," I say as he sits on the edge of the bed. I walk to him and sit on his lap as he rubs my back.

"You sure? It was hard seeing it in there every time I went to get Sophia I just couldn't bare it anymore."

"It needed to go anyways, why not now," I say and a tear falls down. He wipes it away with his thumb and kisses my cheek as Sawyer comes into our room and starts jumping on the bed with her swimsuit on.

"Let's go, let's go," she bounces. We laugh as Luke picks her up and we walk outside. He grabs the inflatable pool from the garage and fills it up with the pump while Sawyer helps me get the hose. The baby monitor makes a sound and goes right back to quiet as we turn on the water and start filling up the pool.

"Sawyer we should wait a little bit for the sun to heat up the pool so it's not freezing," I tell her. "Why don't we go have some lunch?"

"Okay," she pouts but we head inside and start making macaroni and cheese. I place the noodles in the strainer and search for Luke. I finally find him in the den where he is sitting at his computer desk.

"What you working on?" I lean against the door.

"School homework, we should home school," he says and I laugh.

"Lunch is ready, I made chicken salad for us," I tell him.

"What but I wanted car shaped macaroni and cheese," he whines.

"Well I'm sure Sawyer will share," I laugh as we head into the kitchen. I finish making Sawyer's meal as Lucas grabs glasses from the cupboard and fills it with water for us and milk for Sawyer.

"Daddy can I have chocolate please?" Sawyer asks from the kitchen table.

"We don't have anymore you drank it all already," he says setting milk in front of her.

"Can we get more?" she asks after taking a sip of her milk.

"I will go after school on Monday," he tells her.

"Thanks daddy," she smiles and I set the bowl of macaroni and cheese in front of her. We eat at the kitchen table until we let Sawyer play outside while I feed Sophia upstairs. I heard Brooke come in the house and the boys running outside. Lucas said we could take care of the boys while Brooke had a last minute meeting, which Julian couldn't watch because he was working as well at the movie set. I walk downstairs with Sophie in my arms as Brooke hands me their bag of dry clothes.

"Thank you so much again," she says rushing out of the house and into her car as I wave goodbye from the porch. I meet Lucas outside where all three of the kids are now in the pool. Luke grabs Sophie from me as I blow up the inflatable ball and bring out the other toys from the garage.

"Aunt Peyton?" I hear and turn around to see Jude behind me.

"What's up Jude?" I ask bending down to his level.

"Do you have a basketball and hoop that we could put at the end of the pool?" I smile and look over to Lucas who is sitting, laughing, and watching the other two in the pool.

"I guarantee Uncle Luke can do that for you if you ask him really nicely," I say and brush his hair back. Jude runs over to Lucas and asks him. I see a smile light up on his face as he goes to the garage and grabs the two things Jude asked for. I sit on the ground as Lucas comes back and hands me Sophie. I lay her on the blanket between my legs and play with her on the ground. I knew I could get used to this life and even though we hit rock bottom it felt like it was getting better slowly. Lucas kisses my bare shoulder and I smile at him as Sophie grabs his finger he held it out to her.

"You ready for the first game on Friday?"

"I am, don't know about the team," Lucas said.

"You guys have practice all week mornings and nights. What's going to happen then with the girls? I need to get back to the studio as soon as possible," I tell him.

"I don't know. I mean I can take Sawyer early to practice with me. She can sleep in the bleachers, you know that kid can sleep through a hurricane. Then Sophie and you can get some extra sleep before you have to go in. Haley brought Lydia to the café and Brooke did as well with the twins," he says to me.

"Am I supposed to bring Sophie to the café," I ask laughing.

"No but you can take her to work for now until she get's older. We have an extra crib," he reminds me.

"Yeah, I wish I didn't have to work but I need to get back to the studio. Would it be bad if I took her?"

"I don't know talk to Haley or Brooke they managed," he says to me as we watch the ball get thrown in the air in straight into Sawyer's face. She automatically starts crying as Lucas gets up as she walks towards us.

"Daddy," she cries loudly holding her face. She pulls her hand away and I see blood gushing from her nose. I grab Sophie off the ground as Lucas carries her into the house.

"I didn't mean to Aunt Peyton," Davis said.

"I know hunny it was an accident," I smile as I hand the boys towels and we head inside. As I help the boys dry off I see Sawyer sitting on the kitchen counter with Lucas holding an ice pack and paper towel on her face. There are napkins all over the counter as the tears are now only slowly coming out of Sawyer's eyes. Lucas was talking to her and she laughs as I smile.

"Why don't you guys take a seat and I will get some ice cream," I tell them and they scream in excitement. "Sawyer hunny do you want some ice cream?" I ask her pulling out vanilla ice cream.

"Only if we have sprinkles," she gasps through her crying as I place the tub of ice cream on the counter and put Sophia in her portable crib in the kitchen.

"I think we do," I smile and grab Luke's hand gently taking it away from Sawyer's nose. I place his hand back on her nose as I kiss the side of her head and get bowls down from the cupboard. Once the ice cream was scooped and sprinkles and chocolate are poured over the ice cream I let the kids watch a movie in the living room. Once I put in a movie I go back to the kitchen to see Lucas cleaning up the mess.

"You don't have to clean up I can do it," I say sitting on the counter. Luke comes between my legs and I place a kiss on his lips. He smiles as my hands caress his face and I kiss him one more time. He kisses me back hard and pulls me into him. I wrap my legs around him taking the kiss deeper and pull away after a few seconds when the baby starts crying. He breathes out and exhales as I jump off the counter and grab Sophie.

"Are you home tomorrow or do you have practice?" I ask him.

"We have practice at noon," he tells me as he starts the dishwasher.

"Okay well I need to take Sawyer to get clothes, since she is growing out of them like crazy and also get her things for dance. I don't want to take Sophie with me, but I also want to go at 11 so could you bring Sophie with you to practice and I will pick her up around 12:45 or 1 o'clock?"

"Yeah I don't see a problem with that. We're going to be in the classroom going over plays so it will be quiet for the first half hour," he tells me. We hear the kids laughing in the room as I grab a bottle of milk from the fridge and hand it to Lucas to warm up.

"Is it sad to say that I'm already ready for bed," I yawn.

"Why don't you take a nap I got it from here," he says handing me the bottle back.

"No I don't want to nap," I told him and he grabs Sophie from me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he says and smiles at me. "I will be and I'm sorry. If I try to go out tonight stop me okay?"

"Okay," I tell him as we go to the living room and sit on the couch while the movie finishes.

"I'll be back," Lucas says as I continue to clean up the kitchen from dinner.

"Where are you going?" I ask as he grabs his wallet and cell phone from the table.

"I'm going to the gym to get a few things for tomorrow," he tells me taking the keys.

"It can't wait until tomorrow?" I say wondering why he has to go at 7:30 at night.

"No it can't Peyton," he replies frustrated.

"Luke," I say.

"I'm going to the gym and I will be back in 45 minutes," he says and leaves. I grab the phone calling the other Scott house as Nathan answer.

"Hey its Peyton," I say.

"Hi, how is he doing? Julian told me," he says.

"I don't know. Nathan he has a problem and he is supposedly going to the gym to grab something for tomorrows practice," I say.

"Why it's like almost 8," he replies.

"Same thing i said to him and he just got angry and left. Can you do me a huge favor and check to see if he is at the gym?"

"Of course. I'll call you when I get there," he tells me.

"Thank you," I say before hanging up. I place the phone on the counter and turn around to see Sawyer in the kitchen.

"Why was Daddy yelling?"

"Cause mommy was being stupid," I say picking her up as I bring her back to her room. "You need a bath," I say and start the water. As I am finishing up and placing Sawyer her bed she asks me, "Is daddy coming home."

"He'll be here soon," I tell her looking at the clock.

"Can he come in and say goodnight?" she asks me.

"I'll send him in, but for now get some sleep okay? We have to go shopping in the morning," I tell her and kiss her forehead.

"Okay, I love you mommy," she says.

"I love you too," I say as the phone rings. "Goodnight." I shut off the light as I hurry to the bedroom and reach for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Peyton it's Nathan," I hear Nathan say.

"Hey, Lucas isn't back yet where are you?"

"I'm at the gym I think you need to come Peyton." He says as I drop the phone on the bed.


	4. Chapter 4

**First of all I want to thank people have added my story to their favorites and people who have commented especially lovely35 who I was on the verge of quitting this story because no one was reviewing until you reviewed! Also I wanted to let everyone know that the only reason the baby boy died was because of the story line, so just relax! Also I did find that I did make a mistake in the first chapter of the baby girl name. I was writing a different story with the name Mackenzie and I just forgot that I was using Sophia for this one! So Sorry! Please continue to review because it gives me strength to continue on!**

"Nathan," I say opening the gym doors. I see him shooting hoops in the dim lighting of the gym and he holds onto the ball as I come closer to him. "Where is he?" Nathan runs his hand through his hair.

"Peyton, he needs help," he tells me.

"Don't you think I know that Nathan," I say louder then I intended. "I'm sorry."

"Listen he's asleep in the office. Peyton if he got caught in there by someone he would be fired and gone," he informs me.

"I know that. Will you wait here?" He nods his head as I go to the boy's locker room and into Lucas's office. I don't see anyone in the chair and go over to his desk where he is leaning on it as he sits on the ground.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask seeing the bottle in his hand. "Alcohol isn't the answer Luke." I grab the bottle angrily from his hand as he mumbles something. I walk out to the bathroom and pour it down the drain.

"Why would you do that?" he slurs at me and grabs the bottle looking at the empty contents.

"Why," I say quietly. He angrily throws the bottle against the wall and I hear it shatter as I close my eyes. A tear runs down my face as I say, "You need help Luke, help that I cannot give you." I fall to the floor starting to pick up the glass after looking for a broom and finding it nowhere. Lucas grabs my hand and I feel the glass cut my hand and I quickly pull away.

"Just stop," I yell and drop the glass that cut the inside of my hand. I look at the cut and see that it is pretty deep. I shake my head as he tries to say something but I leave. I see Nathan sitting on the bleachers talking on the phone and hangs up when he sees me.

"Where are the girls?" Nathan asks me.

"Brooke is watching them at the house. Do you think you could take him tonight?" I ask.

"Of course." He says and notices the blood dripping from my hand. "Peyton what the hell happened?"

"I was cleaning up a bottle that he threw and he grabbed my hand and I had glass in it. I'm fine it's nothing," I assure him.

"You're bleeding bad, let me grab something," he says running into the locker room and coming back with a towel. "Here," he hands me the towel. "You need to go to the doctor."

"I'll be fine," I say wrapping the towel around my hand

"Peyton," he says wrapping the towel tighter.

"I'll go I just can't deal with this," I say crying as I pick up my purse and leave. Once in the car I drive to the emergency room and call Brooke.

"What are you talking about the emergency room? What happened to Luke?"

"Nothing it's me, I cut myself on glass," I say taking a right on the street of the hospital.

"Peyton you were in a gym how did you cut yourself on glass," she asks me.

"Brooke I really can't do this now," I say and start crying.

"Peyton do you need me to come?" she quietly says.

"I'll be fine. I don't know how long it is going to be so you can sleep in the bed. Luke isn't coming home he is staying at Nate's. I will see you when I get home," I tell her and park in the hospital parking lot. Once I check in I take a seat and about forty-five minutes later I am called in the room.

"Peyton Scott," the doctor says walking into the room.

"Hi," I say as he takes a seat.

"I'm Dr. Briggs, I see you have a cut?" he says looking at the paperwork I filled out earlier.

"Yeah," I say getting the towel off my hand.

"Well that's a good one," he laughs and puts on gloves. He examines it and says that I'm going to need about 5 stitches.

"So how did you do this?" he asks me as he puts a needle in my hand and numbs it before he starts sewing my skin back together.

"Glass," I say.

"Yeah that's usually a big one," he laughs. Once he finishes it's past two in the morning and I finally am home. The house is silent and I walk to the bedroom where I see Brooke sleeping in the bed with Sawyer and change into shorts and a t-shirt. I slide next to Sawyer and wrap my arms around her as Brooke's eyes open. She see's me and we just look at each other for a moment before the tears start coming down again.

"Peyton," she whispers sympathetically and grabs my hand. "We'll get through it." I shake my head as she comforts me and we fall asleep.

*****The next morning******

I'm making breakfast in the kitchen already at 8:00 due to the fact I barely got any sleep last night.

"Morning," Brooke says.

"Hey, I made coffee," I tell her. "Thanks for last night."

"I'm always here for you," she smiles and pours herself a cup of coffee.

"I know I just don't know what to do Brooke, it was so bad last night," I say and finally notice the wrap on my hand.

"You need to talk to him."

"I have Brooke and I thought we got it out but we just obviously didn't."

"Then we just need to figure something out," she says as I lean against the counter and grab her hand.

"I just don't want to lose him. I don't want to get mad or angry because I know how he feels, because I feel the same way I just don't take it out on alcohol," I say as a tear runs down my face.

"Morning mommy," Sawyer says sleepily as I wipe the tears and pick her up in my arms. I kiss her softly on the side of her head as she asks, "What happened to your hand?"

"I cut it yesterday on a glass, that's why Aunt Brooke came over," I tell her. I set her on the counter and ask, "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Cinnamon rolls, daddy said he would make the ones I really like," she smiles and leans onto me. I push her up so I can check the fridge and find what Lucas would have made. I took out the cinnamon rolls and plopped them on the counter getting out a pan from the cabinet below.

"Can I put them on the tray?" she asks as I spray the pan and set it next to her.

"Yes you can," I smile turning the oven on.

"Aunt Brooke are you staying for breakfast?" Sawyer looks up at Brooke and I look at Brooke who looks at me.

"I think I can stay," Brooke smiles and kisses Sawyer's forehead as I hear the baby cry.

"Go," she mouths to me as I head up the stairs to Sophia's room.

"Hey baby girl no more crying okay," I soothe her and rock her back and forth in my arms. Once I finally change her, feed her, and give her to Brooke who takes the girls to the park with her family I drive over to Nathan and Haley's to see Lucas sitting out on the deck. Nathan had called me earlier to say that they were going to a movie so Lucas and I could talk. I open the sliding glass door and Luke finally turns to look at me but looks away.

"What do you want me to say?" Luke says not even looking at me.

"I want you to say you need help," I tell him. He turns to look at me and shakes his head.

"I don't need help," he says and stands up to face me.

"Then how are we going to fix this?"

"You weren't supposed to let me go out," he says.

"You were yelling at me and the girls were up stairs. You know Sawyer came down stairs and asked me what happened and why you left. You want to know what I told her. I told her that it was me who made you leave. Lucas you have a little girl who adores you and a baby who I don't even know if you have been in her room at night feeding her, stopping her crying. We love you Lucas, I love you but if this keeps happening and you keep drinking you won't have that." I say crying now.

"What do you want me to do Peyton?"

"Accept the fact that we can't change what happened. I know it's hard, I am there too but we need to talk about this together. We can't just keep ignoring a problem."

"There is no problem," Lucas yells.

"You need help and if you don't get help, then you can stay here," I say and open the sliding glass door before he places a hand on it so it stops me from opening it even more. He doesn't say anything and I open it more stepping inside and leaving the other Scott's house.

"I don't want help," he says quietly and I turn around.

"Then you can get your stuff out of the house. You can tell the girls that you can't live there anymore," I cry.

"I don't want that Peyton," he says. "I never wanted that."

"Then you choose, because I am not going to be promising our girls that you will be there when they have a stomach ache, or they want to be read a story, or for Christ sake they just want you to tuck them in. Every time you leave Sawyer ask where's daddy, when is he coming home? You're not the only one who lost him, we all did and yes we all have our ways of showing it, but we get through it Luke. It's been two weeks since you started drinking and won't stop. So you choose Luke. I chose you, Sawyer, and Sophia, now it's your turn," I say to him and grab my purse from the couch. On the drive home I stop by the gravesite where Keith, Anna, Ellie, and our son Mason Keith Scott are buried. He was buried right next to Keith's grave and I sat down on the ground.

"Hey Keith, I hope you're taking care of Mason up there," I say as a tear slides down. "I don't know if he could do it on his own, but knowing you're there helps a lot." I wipe the tear away and continue, "I don't know what to do with Luke Keith, I haven't seen him like this since you left and I don't know what is going to happen. I need your help and I know that is impossible to ask but please just watch over him Keith. Watch over my boys for me, I need Luke back. I miss you Keith, our girls would have loved you so much and I hate that you can't see them. We miss you so much and Luke needs your help more than ever," I tell him and stand up. "Thanks for listening." I touch the grave and turn around to see a man standing behind me, a man that no one ever wants to see, but runs ins with him tend to happen once in a while.

"Hello Peyton," he says. I smile briefly at him before walking towards him and walk past him as I head to the car.

"Peyton," he says and I turn around. "I'm sorry about your son." I nod and walk away. "He's not taking it well is he?"

"What do you want Dan?" I say with frustration.

"I don't want anything Peyton but for everything to be okay for you guys," he says.

"Well you know what Dan nothing is going to be okay since you took Keith away. Nothing has ever been okay." I reply louder than I probably should have.

"I know and I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused, I am sorry I truly am," he says quietly and for a second I actually believe it.

"I need to go Dan," I tell him.

"He's going to be okay Peyton. Lucas will get through it, he's a good man," Dan tells me something I already know.

"I know he got it from his father," I say pointing at Keith's grave. Dan nods and I turn away walking to my car. I hop in a head home to an empty house. I look at the pictures all on the mantle and smile at how happy we were. Don't get me wrong I'm still happy with my life, there is just this bumpy road we need to get through. I hear the door open and see Julian with Sawyer in his arms sleeping. He nods his head upstairs to put her in her room and I take Sophie from Brooke.

"How were they?" I ask.

"Perfect as always, Sawyer wasn't talkative like usual. She stayed next to Julian a lot, wanted to be held by him, she wouldn't even come to me." Brooke frowns.

"She misses her dad," I tell her. "Lucas would always pick her up and tuck her in and be by her, he hasn't tucked her in about two weeks," I say rocking Sophia in my arms. We hear the door open and Brooke and I both look at the front door to see Lucas. Brooke kisses Sophia as Julian comes down stairs and hugs Luke. They both leave saying that the kids are in the car and need to get home. Lucas hugs Brooke as I walk Sophie into the kitchen and put her in the seat on the counter. I start cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast when Lucas comes behind me, wrapping his arms around my stomach. He kisses the back of my head and whispers, "I need help." I turn to face him and say "How, how can I help?"

"I think I should go see someone. Talk to someone and I think we should both go together." I look at him and agree but I didn't really want to go to a shrink, but if it helped him then I would do anything for Lucas. "I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either," I say and our lips collide. "I know I have said this a dozen of times but I am here with you and we are going to get through this together."

"I know babe," he says and we kiss again.

**********2 Weeks Later**********

"Thank you Haley," I say handing her the car seat and kissing Sawyer before I run back to the car and drive to another appointment. I had been at work with Sophie when I had lost track of time and forgot about the appointment when Haley text me asking when I was dropping off the girls. I swore quite loudly before picking up Sophie and then getting Sawyer from school. I was driving to the appointment when I hit every red light on the way and swore even more. I hated these appointments right when Sawyer got out of school and I had to rush getting her to Haley's then drive to the psychologist's office. I run into the room and both Lucas and the psychologist Dr. White look up towards me.

"Sorry," I say sitting down on the opposite side of the couch. Lucas gives me a look that makes me think he is mad for my being late.

"Glad you could make it," our doctor looks up towards me. I nod my head and set my purse on the floor. "Lucas was just telling me that it's been a good week for you two?"

"Yeah I think it has," I tell her.

"I think that we have talked a lot and it's getting easier to talk about Spencer." Lucas tells him.

"Peyton tell something you have accomplished this week?" He asks me.

"I got a musician to record a song and music video at Red Bedroom," I tell him.

"And what about you Lucas," he asks as my phone rings. I reach in my purse and see that it is work but I push ignore.

"Who is it?" Lucas asks.

"No one," I tell him.

"Lucas," he says.

"Oh, I guess I spent more time with the girls. I didn't do that a lot when everything happened with Spencer, so I feel like I accomplished that."

"That's great Lucas and you as well Peyton. Do you feel like you have accomplished anything together."

"I feel that we have, we communicate more like we used to, we have fun with girls and Lucas helps a lot," I say to her and Lucas reaches for my hand. Our hands lock and I smile at him.

"Have you been completely sober?"

"Yeah, I haven't had a drink since the gym, well I did at my brother's house for a barbeque but that's it."

"I think that you guys have reached a point where you are moving on and you know where you want to go," he tells us.

"I think so. I think that we have reached peace with Spencer. Are we going to miss him? Yes but it does get easier knowing that my three girls are with me and I wouldn't want to lose that," Lucas says and kisses my hand. We stay and talk a little while longer but leave shortly after.

"I asked Haley to keep the kids overnight," Lucas says once we exit the building.

"Oh okay why?" I dig for my keys in my purse.

"Because I want time with you," he smiles and pulls me to him. I lay a kiss on his lips and pull away. "I'm sorry I was late."

"It's okay, you showed that is all that matters," he tells me.

"Okay well I have to get to the studio and meet with the artist who wants to book for recording and the music video."

"Do you know who it is?"

"All I know is that she is a country star and that's about it," I told him. "If she flies in tonight I guarantee she is only going to be here for a few days before she goes, so it is going to be a busy next few days. You might need to take the girls to practice with you this weekend."

"We will figure it out, we always do," he smiles.

"We do," I say and kiss him before we both get in our cars. He rolls down his window and I roll down mine. "Text or call me when you are leaving the studio so I know when to start supper."

"Okay I love you," I say.

"I love you too," he says before driving away.

I head into the studio and see my assistant, Trey, and bar tender Chase from Tric sitting on the couch in the office talking.

"Trey why did you call?" I ask setting my bag down.  
>"I guess her plane got delayed and she will be here tomorrow night," Trey says to me.<p>

"Do we even know who she is yet?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he smiles.

"Who is it Trey?"

"It's Taylor Swift," he says to me. I personally don't listen to her music, Sawyer does but she's amazing.

"Stop lying," I laugh.

"I'm not," he seriously says to me. "She doesn't think she will be able to record a new song, but she wants to do the music video of Never Grow Up."

"Wow," I said.

"Want a drink?" Chase asks me.

"No, Taylor is going to be here in this studio?"

"Well no I mean we are probably going to have to scout out places for the video so technically she won't be here," he said.

"Shut up Trey," I laughed along with Chase. "I don't even know where to start."

"Well why don't you go home and think about it. Everything is done here," he told me.

"Okay," I tell him grabbing my bag and back out the door.

"Peyton," I hear Chase say and I turn around, "Everything will be okay, it's not like an VMA holder will be in our presence."

"Thanks Chase," I roll my eyes and he laughs. I text Lucas when I get in the car telling him I would be home in ten minutes and I drove back to the house. I walk in the front door to see Lucas sleeping on the couch. I crawl on top of him as he opens his eyes.

"You're back early," he says. I lean down and place a kiss on his lips and say, "Trey had a lot of the things done already."

"What about your artist?"

"Oh Taylor Swift yeah she will be in tomorrow," I tell him as he gives me a weird look and I smile.

"Taylor Swift?"

"Yeah," I laugh.

"Baby that is great, I'm so proud of you, let's go out and celebrate. We don't have the girls and it's just me and you," he says.

"Ok, let me shower and get ready," I tell him and get up from the couch before he pulls me down. As I am doing my hair Lucas walks in the bathroom wearing gray pants and a light blue long sleeve shirt.

"You look handsome," I say to him. I finish the last curl in my hair as I go to the closet and put on the green olive dress Brooke had given a while back. I slip it over my body and zip up the side as I slip on my heels and walk back to the bathroom to grab my jewelry.

"Wow," he says and sits on the bed. I smile at him and put on makeup before we head out to dinner. We hop in the comet as Lucas drives to my favorite restaurant on the boardwalk. Once we arrive home I walk up to the bedroom and Lucas comes behind me unzipping my dress. I lean my head back against him as his hand moves its way up my leg.

**********The Next Morning.************

I pull Lucas's long sleeve shirt over my body as I walk down stairs that next morning and put the pot of coffee on. When I hit the start button I see Lucas appear in the doorway.

"What time are the girls coming back?" I say looking at the clock. "Shit Luke Sawyer starts dance today in two hours," I rush up the stairs.

"Wait, I though that she only has it on Tuesday and Thursdays," he asks following me.

"No she has private lessons on Saturdays at 10:30," I tell him and start running the shower. "Can you please go get them while I get ready and pack Sawyers bag?"

"Yes," he laughs and puts on jeans as I take another shower. I'm packing Sawyer's dance bag when she runs into her room and puts her arms around me.

"Hi baby, did you have fun at Aunt Haley's house?" I pull her on my lap and she nods her head. "Let's get you in your leotard," I say and help her get dressed.

"Is Kelly still my instructor?"

"I don't know sweetheart we will have to see," I say and look at the clock. "We need to hurry because I need to drop you off and get to work. Does daddy have your sister?"

"Yep he is feeding her right now," she tells me stepping into her tights. I put the leg warmers on her as we head downstairs and into the kitchen. I grab water bottles from the fridge and pack some snacks for afterwards. I kiss Lucas goodbye along with Sophie as I head to the car with Sawyer. I help her in the car seat and she buckles herself in as we leave the house on the way to the dance studio. Once we arrive we head into the studio and see Kelly at the desk. Sawyer runs over behind the desk to hug Kelly and I give them the check for the classes.

"Are you excited to get started?" Kelly asks Sawyer who nods excitedly. I hand her the bag kissing Sawyer and leaving to go to the studio. "Have fun."

When I get to Red Bedrooms I see a limo pull up and hurry inside to wait for Taylor Swift. When I get upstairs I run to my desk and sit down when Trey knocks on the door. I try and look busy as I say, "Come in." He pushes the doors aside as I see a tall, skinny, blonde hair beauty before me.

"Ms. Swift it is so nice to finally meet you," I say and shake her hand.

"Please call me Taylor, and thank you for doing this on such short notice."

"No seriously thank you I am so glad that you chose to do it here at Red Bedroom, we are seriously honored and privileged to have you. Why don't you come in and sit down and we can talk about what you are looking for in your music video."

"Okay sounds good," she says. "Trey will you have Chase make us some things from the kitchen and bring us some drinks, non-alcoholic of course."

"For sure," he says.

"Ok so I have listened to your cd and it's amazing, my daughter loves you," I tell her.

"Thank you, is this her?"

"Yeah that is Sawyer and the baby is Sophia," I tell her.

"They're gorgeous," she says and sets the frame back on my desk.

"So tell me what you were thinking," I say to her. We talk about it for a while and I see that I need to pick Sawyer up from the dance studio. "I'm sorry to do this to you, but I need to pick up my daughter from dance class, it should take only about ten minutes, but if you would like you can go do stuff in the studio with Trey."

"Okay, but do you think I could actually go with you and see the town a little," she asks.

"Of course, I would have asked you I just didn't know," I say and pick up my purse. She follows me to my car and is amazed and what I am driving. "So how old is your daughter?"

"She's five going to be six in a few months and Sophia is just about two months old," I tell her.

"Cute," she says.

"Yeah Sawyer is a fireball and Sophia is just a great baby, quite but cries at the worst moments," I laugh.

"Have you lived here your whole life?"

"I have. My husband Lucas and I met in high school and got married a little after and then had Sawyer and then Sophia," I told her. "We were actually married the day Sawyer was born."

"Wow, how did that happen?"

"Well we got married and Sawyer just came. We had trouble early on with her so it was unexpected but we are both healthy now and that is all that matters," I say pulling into the parking lot. "I will be right back." I leave the air conditioner going in the car and head inside to get Sawyer. She is sitting on the bench when she gets up and opens the door running over to me. I pick her up and hug her tightly. "How was it?"

"Good Kelley showed me a new dance where I do a flip," she says and smiles. "Can I show you later?"

"Of course, we have to go to the studio right now so mommy can work but after wards you can."

"I could show you on the stage at work?" She says excitedly and I walk with her in my arms to the car.

"You could and you could show someone who is waiting in the car as well," I say as we both look over.

"Who is that mommy?"

"It's a new artist for the studio that you know because you listen to her all the time," I say.

"Hannah Montana?"

"Nope," I laugh. "It's a love story baby just say yes."

"What really," she squirms out of my arms and runs to the car as Taylor gets out. Sawyer runs into her arms and I shake my head.

"Sawyer you can't just run and jump on people," I say to her as Taylor has her in her arms. "It's okay," Taylor assures me.

"You are so cool," Sawyer says and both Taylor and I laugh at her. When we get back to the studio Chase takes Sawyer with him in the back room and she helps him do some things.

"You probably think I am the worst parent taking my kid in a bar where I work and she works with the bartender," I say.

"It's actually pretty cool. Everyone just seems so nice here."

"Everyone is. We keep it small, everyone knows everyone and everything, which can be good at times and bad but we make the best of it," I tell her.

"Mommy are we going to Aunt Haley's for supper, Chase says that she is throwing a barbeque again but I don't believe him," Sawyer says.

"Why don't you call your dad and check," I say as she runs out of the room.

"She has so much energy can I borrow some?"

"Please," I say seriously.

"He says that is correct," Sawyer yells coming into the room.

"Sawyer is it really necessary to yell," I ask as she comes and sits on my lap.

"No," she says and I take out markers for her.

"Can Taylor come to the barbeque?" Sawyer asks me.

"Honey Taylor probably has a lot of stuff to do and probably doesn't want to hang out with our crazy family," I tickle Sawyer.

"Well if she wants to can she come," Sawyer asks as Taylor smiles at her.

"If she wants to she is more then welcome but if she says no, then no," I say before Sawyer cut me off, "means no. I know mom. Can you Taylor?"

"I think I could," she says and Sawyer smiles widely. "When you say Haley you mean Haley James Scott right?"

"Yeah you heard of her?" I ask as Sawyer runs out to Chase.

"Yeah I used to love her music and then all of a sudden she had a family and she hasn't come out with anything it seems which is totally acceptable."

"Yeah well you will meet her tonight," I say.

After the barbeque and Lucas and I were in bed around 10, knowing that it was a huge day tomorrow my phone rang. I looked at the number to see that it was blocked and answered it.

"Hey Peyton, it's Taylor," she says.

"Hi, is everything okay?"

"Everything is great. I'm sorry to call so late but I wanted to say thank you for everything you did for my crew and myself today," she replies.

"It is no problem, thank you for coming," I tell her.

"I actually wanted to run something by you. I know that we have it all planned on what we are doing tomorrow and scouting wise, along with finding people to be in the video. I was wondering I would love if your family could be in. After seeing you and Lucas with the girls I just picture my video with you guys in it. And I would love to have Brooke's twins in it as well so it would be triplets possibly and then Sophie."

"Wow, okay well let me talk to my husband and Brooke and we can figure it out from there tomorrow."

"Okay, thank you Peyton," she says before hanging up.

"What did she want?" Lucas asks taking off his glasses and glances up from his book.

"She wants us and our family to be thee video," I say as Lucas laughs.

"Oh you're serious," he asks me.

"Yeah, I don't know though. I'm fine with the girls being in it and you, I just don't know if I want to, I mean Brooke could do it, even Quinn since she just got back. I just don't want to be behind the camera and in the video."

"Then have Julian direct it," he says of something I never thought of.  
>"You are incredible," I tell him.<p>

"Yeah," he laughs and pulls me in for a kiss.

"This is perfect," Taylor says as we pull up to the house. We had been scouting all day and got everything we need know we just needed to find the perfect little house to film outside. Inside would be in the studio Julian owned. Taylor had agreed to let Julian film and direct as my family and I would be in front of the camera. "You like?"

"Like, I love it," she said. It was a small house that was a light green and white. It was tucked back in the woods along a dirt road where no one was. It seemed like the perfect house for a couple with kids. When we made arrangements with the owners who graciously let us use the outside for filming we headed back to the studio to pick out outfits and choose some girls for when the scene was older. We were sitting interviewing some when Lucas walked with Sophie. He handed me the car seat and I picked Sophie up out of it. "Hey baby girl," I cooed and kissed her face.

"Did you like anyone so far," I ask as Lucas leaves the room with Chase.

"I don't know, none of them really appealed to me," Taylor says and gets up. "What about her?"

"Who?" I ask and make my way over to a desk where she is standing.

"Here," Taylor says, "for the older college girl."

"Kayla?"

"Good you know her?"

"I do. Nathan coaches the girl's basketball team and she babysits for us occasionally. I can give her a call."

It was 10 PM when I got to the sound stage where I was going to meet Julian to go over the shoot for tomorrow. I had stopped for coffee at Karen's café where Brooke was just closing and got Julian and myself coffee for the long night ahead.

"Thanks again for this," Julian tells me.

"Are you kidding me, you're saving my ass." I laugh and sip my coffee. Once we go over the plans we sit on the floor. "How's everything with Brooke and the twins going? I feel like I never get to talk to you," I ask him.

"I know. It's great the boys are great and Brooke is amazing, but you already know that," he smiles. "How's everything with Lucas?"

"Good, we are doing much better. I felt like I lost him for a while but we are okay."

"That's good, I know these last couple of weeks have been hard, but it seems like therapy is working?"

"I guess. We seem to be getting back to where it used to be. I feel like there is still something that's awkward between us. I don't know," I say and pull my knees to my chest.

"You'll get through it, he loves you," Julian tells me. I nod my head in agreement. "I mean who could not love you, I did."

"Really you're going to bring that up," I laugh.

"I just wanted to see you smile," he says and nudges me. "It's been a while since I've seen you smile."

"Well thank you. Thank you for everything, especially this."

"Are you kidding me, I would never have passed up this offer."

"Well good," I tell him.

"Brooke's trying to get pregnant again, we know it's a small chance she will but we're trying," Julian tells me.

"That's good, I am happy for you and I hope everything works out," he said. "She wants a girl."

"I know, she has told me so many times, she deserves one. I know she is stressing over it, she told me she you guys were trying for a while but she didn't want a lot of people to know."

"Yeah we don't want all the attention, especially when it doesn't happen," he says. "If I could give her many babies I would, that's what I want. I want her to be happy."

"She is Julian, because of you," I say and grab his hand squeezing it.

"Well you did bring us together," he says.

"Yeah kind of amazing right?" I laugh.. "But it's already 2 in the morning and I haven't seen my family in forever, so I am going to get going. I will see you in about 4 hours?" I ask.

"You will along with Brooke in the boys, you famous actress," he says and I roll my eyes. I drive home and see the porch light was left on while the whole house was dark except for the light going upstairs. Unlocking the door I head up stairs and look in Sawyer's room to see her passed out on the bed. I move her legs and put them under the blankets and take the book she is holding and set it on the dresser. I kiss her forward before I pull the covers over her. I check on Sophia who is giggling in her crib.

"Hi baby girl," I say and pick her up. I rock her for a little bit and then put her back in the crib while I head to my room. I see Lucas asleep on the bed and change into a t-shirt and shorts while I crawl next to him and fall asleep right away. It was great to come home to a amazing family and I can't wait for the future with them and see where our family goes, but tomorrow was another busy day and I couldn't wait to spend it with them making a music video.


End file.
